Going Postal

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Yesterday afternoon I had so many blog topics that I wondered how I would fit them all in. This morning, after another 4 a.m. awakening (thanks for the sleep tips, everyone — I haven’t tried any of them yet, mistakenly thinking that mentioning sleep problems out loud would make them go away), absolutely nothing sounded of interest.

And now I have 12 minutes before the marketing webinar I signed up for begins, followed by a chiropractor appointment. And all I can think to say in the time allotted to me is: if there is a medical quack out there, the “president” is sure to give him or her center stage for tips on how best to keep this virus alive and on the attack against Americans. Let’s hear it for the experts!

The current occupant of the White House also just blatantly, and brazenly, told a reporter that he is not interested in funding the U.S. Postal Service because he doesn’t want people — and by people, he means Democrats — voting by mail. I imagine he is still planning to mail his ballot in, assuming he can get his own address correct, stable jenius that he is, and I assume his hand-picked donor postmaster general will personally guarantee that ballot makes it to the polling center.

What he really needs to do is just sign an executive order, because his are always so helpful, and mandate that the return envelope for ballots be marked with the voter’s party affiliation. Then his postmaster general will be able to sort ballots efficiently: those marked with a D can go straight in the trash; R’s can get delivered in a timely fashion, no matter how many trips the carriers need to make; and postal clerks can hold all the others up to the light to see how the ballot is marked before deciding which where to file it.

That’s how they vote in Belarus, I think, and I have no idea why we wouldn’t aspire to be more like Belarus.

And with that, I must be off. Or at least, someone somewhere is off. Not that I’m mentioning any names.

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